


Three Things

by Mercywinchester



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 20:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14961335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercywinchester/pseuds/Mercywinchester
Summary: Petra Ral was the one positive thing in Levi Ackerman's bleak existence. She was everything good about life rolled into a small person, and he loved her. But he made a mistake, and now she's gone. There are so many things he wants to tell her, but he never can.





	Three Things

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first work on A03, and it's a repost from my wattpad. It seemed to do well over there, so I figured I'd see how it goes on here.

There were three things he could never tell her.

He could never tell her he loved her. Why did he love her? Because she was everything he wasn't: happy, vibrant, so alive. The only splash of color in his monochrome existence. She was beautiful, inspiring--the sky on a perfect spring afternoon. And he was the clouds that would ruin that afternoon with a torrent of rain.

He could never tell her that he wanted to be like her. He wanted to be happy, to experience the world the way she did. She had always believed that all hope was not lost, and he wanted to believe it, too. Instead, he could feel himself slipping, sliding, falling into the abyss, losing himself. The weight of his burdens on his shoulders weighed him down, threatening to pull him under. Threatening to kill him, drown him in sorrow.

He could never tell her how much he missed her. How he missed her smile, her laugh, her optimism. He used to scoff and tell her it was ridiculous, but he hadn't meant it, not really. He missed their conversations, her bright eyes that held the sharp glint of intelligence. And the admiration in them when she looked at him. It was different from the way everyone else looked at him. They admired Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman, Humanity's Strongest Soldier. She had always admired him, who he was, not what he could do. She loved just plain old Levi. He missed her more than he missed anyone else he'd ever lost to this senseless war against the Titans, and he'd give anything to have her back. He would gladly die if it meant she could live again.

But he couldn't tell her. She was never coming back. She was gone. Dead. He'd made a mistake and it had cost him the most important thing in his life, the one shining light in his dark existence. He'd never told her just what she'd meant him, and now he never could. It was one of his greatest regrets. That he'd never told her he'd loved her. And now she'd never know.

He dreamt of her often, alive and laughing, teasing him as usual, but it always ended too soon. He'd wake up and cling to the dream, the memory of her. But it would slip away, just like she had, and leave him cold and alone.

The tears would come, unstoppable evidence of his pain, and he'd long since stopped fighting them. He would say her name over and over, wanting her to hear him. When he finally reached his breaking point, he would scream her name until his throat was raw and burning, hoping and praying that she would hear him. But each time he was greeted by silence.

Because even he couldn't speak to the dead.


End file.
